I checked back, and as best I can tell, we’ve never done a “fuck face” post here on UnrulyDude. I did several of them on the old Unrulyboi and UnrulyDude sites on Blogger – as did our friend FlipFlopsBoy – but I don’t think there’s ever been one on URD. So, here you go. Expressions ranging from pain to surprise to absolute ecstasy – all caused by the insertion of a hard penis in a male anal passage. One of life’s loveliest things!
Last Friday, Ben and Christian had parent-teacher conferences after school, so I picked Dub up after daycare and took him over to Mr. Martinez’s for his Spanish lesson. After that, Mr. M brought him home.
Dub came in the house and we talked for a few minutes… but I was absorbed in some important (?) paperwork and assumed he was off doing his daily chores. After a while, the house seemed eerily quiet, so I went to see what was happening. I found the dogs in their crates and Dub in the living room wiping the floor with a dried-up little sponge. I said, “What’s going on, babe?” He mumbled “Nothin'” and kept wiping the floor with the sponge. I said, “What happened, Dub?” He finally looked up at me and the expression on his face just about broke my heart. He wasn’t crying, but he just looked lost and helpless. He finally said, “Don’t be mad with Bebe. It’s my fault. I forgot to let the dogs out when I got home.” Then the tears started. You need to understand something here. Dub doesn’t cry. Never has. He sometimes gets hurt or disappointed or even mad… and sometimes sulks a bit… but crying is just something he doesn’t do. So, I realized the spot on the carpet was dog pee… and I thought about it for a few seconds… and then said, “Dub. Did you pee on the floor?” He looked horrified and said “NO!” So I said, “Did you see Bebe pee on the floor?” He choked back his tears and said, “No.” And I said, “Why do you think it was Bebe?” He said, “Because Bono hikes his leg.” He had me there. So, I said, “I don’t think it was you – and I don’t think it was either of the dogs. I think it’s “Ghost pee.” He looked at me and said “Nuh-Uhh.” And I said, “Yup. Ghost pee. We had the problem a long time ago and I thought it was over… but it’s one of those darned ghosts that live in our attic. I’m sure of it.”
He said, “Is the floor ruinne?” And I said, “Nope. Not if we fix it. Let’s start by letting the pups out in the yard for a few minutes?” So, we did. And after they’d done their business, we came back in the house. I got a new roll of paper towels and showed Dub how to soak up the urine in the towels. We took turns stomping on the paper towels and saying, “Bad ghost. Bad ghost.” Then, I brought in the shop vac and we ran it over the spot until it was dry enough we couldn’t get any more to soak into towels. Then, I mixed up some white vinegar and water… put it in a spray bottle and thoroughly sprayed the area… followed by more stomping and blotting and vacuuming. When we were finished, we put the shop vac back in the garage and I said, “You hungry?” He said, “Guess so.” So we had some chips and dip and carrot sticks and gave the pups some milk bone treats. After that, he looked me straight in the eyes and said, “It wasn’t ghosts, was it?” I said, “Maybe. Maybe not… Probably not, I guess. It’s all cleaned up now, so it doesn’t matter, does it?” He just said, “I won’t forget again.” And I got up and grabbed him and we hugged for a while.
Ben got home a few minutes after that and said, “What have you guys been up to?” I said, “Nothin’ much. Just having some snacks and talking about ghosts.” Dub just looked at me and grinned.