… in case you missed ’em …

Last Sunday, May 14th was the one-year anniversary of David, Dub and me becoming a “forever family.” If you’d like to re-read my account of the final adoption hearing, clic on the “FOREVER FAMILY” tab on the right side of the page. Every time I read this, I get a big ol’ lump in my throat and tear-up a bit. Hard to believe it’s been a year. Harder to remember when we WEREN’T a family.
Since it’s kind of a special occasion, I wanted to do a special post – so I looked through some of David’s folders from his old UnrulyDude posts (on Blogger). Some of you will remember all of these, but a bunch of ’em are “new” to me. I think they’re wonderful. I was gonna chose 48 but there ended up being more 🙂


Guys, I’m sorry I haven’t been posting lately. It’s been the end of school and student teaching and IEP’s and graduation and job interviews and Dub, and the dogs and the garden and talks with David, Keon, Rick and Alex, and trips to Springfield and Colorado and tons of other stuff – with very little sleep and (unfortunately) very little sex. I’m really hoping things will settle down a bit now. Here’s a recap:
As you know, David and I went to Colorado so I could interview for the job out there. It was a good trip despite the somewhat disagreeable weather. I met with “Dr.M” for several hours. It went really well. I like him a lot and it’s a terrific job opportunity. After our meeting, I went back to the hotel room to talk with David. He had spent the day checking out the local housing market. What he found was that housing is expensive in Boulder. VERY expensive. That evening, we went to dinner with Dr. M and his wife. She’s a lovely lady and serves on the board of directors of a school for exceptional children (talented and gifted). She had read my thesis and said she found it “most impressive.” Mainly, they wanted to know all about David and me – our marriage – and Dub. I showed them pics. Dub, David and me. Dub and the pups. Dub on his bike. Dub and his garden. Dub with some fish he’d caught. Dub and his grandparents. Dub and his Mom. Dub and his friends. You get the idea. We told them (generally) about Dub’s test results and Ms.M assured us he would have excellent school opportunities there. It was a wonderful evening and as it ended, I was certain a job offer would be coming. The next day it was.
When we got home, David and I talked. And talked. We took Denny’s suggestion literally and got a big ol’ 8 1/2″ x 11″ yellow lined legal pad… made 2 columns – Pros and Cons. We got it down on paper so we could see what it looks like. What it feels like to say it out loud. Here’s a (shortened) version of the lists:
COLORADO PROS
-Outstanding job opportunity for Ben
-A more liberal, gay-friendly environment
-Marijuana laws
-Excellent schools for Dub
-Change of scenery – mountains
COLORADO CONS
-Housing costs
-Dub’s home. His garden, friends, plants, crappie fishing, etc
-Dub’s friendship with (and mentoring of) Austin
-Our home. Our neighbors. The hot tub
-Grandparents’ proximity
-Rick’s last year of college
-The Royals, the Jayhawks, Sporting KC, the Chiefs, the fountains, the Sprint center, the Kauffman center, the street car, Union station, the Zoo, polar bears, penguins.
Long story short. Keon, Rick and Alex came over. We talked and talked. We decided to stay in Missouri – at least for now. I called Dr.M and told him. He was disappointed, but said he understood. I started interviewing in the KC area.
The next week, Dr.M called. He asked if more money would change my mind. I told him is wasn’t about money. It was about Dub – and our friends – and where we feel we need to be right now. He said he was going to go ahead and fill the teaching position – but that he was keeping the “Assistant Administrator” job open – for now. He said he was pretty sure it would still be available a year from now, and asked me to keep an open mind. He asked if I would be willing to serve on their “curriculum review” committee and I told him I’d be honored to do that.
He also said he had a friend who’s Superintendent of a school for exceptional children (talented and gifted) in the KC area. He wanted to know if he had my permission to send her my thesis, resume, application and background check. I told him he did. So, he sent it to her and she called me and we met. I like her a lot and visited the school, and she ended up offering me a teaching position. After talking with David, I accepted. It’s less money than the Colorado job – but I really like the school and am excited about teaching there.
We haven’t told Dub or the grandparents anything about Colorado – and don’t plan to – at least for now. I ran over to Michael’s this afternoon, and am making a new “Good things, Bad things, Fun things, Dub things” scrapbook with our plane tickets, pics of our Colorado trip, and information about Boulder and the job offer. Maybe we’ll give it to Dub when he graduates college. Or maybe we won’t?
It’s been a long journey – with a happy ending (beginning).
I plan to get back to posting (and SEX) now. I think I’ll show David this post tonight before I fuck his brains out 🙂