What tha fuck are these?

O.K. Gotta ask. What tha fuck are these things? And why are they almost always GREEN?
And, am I the only guy anywhere who doesn’t own one? And does that string ridin’ up your ass turn you on? And I thought “greenies” were a treat for my dogs. Would I like to see my boy, “Ben” in one of these? NO FUCKIN’ WAY!!!